Pizza for Dinner

Really Amazon?

2010-03-30T01:42:00.001-04:00

Who buys used origami paper?

meg's gulf stream

2010-03-06T09:52:00.003-05:00

I feel like I must be going against the flow of my life. Some things don't feel right. What feels right isn't working out. I know me, I know what I want I just need to wait for the opportunity to take it. Catch the right wave, as it were. I hope I see it when it comes along. What's the difference in fighting for what you want and struggling hopelessly against what is your fate and right? Is that even possible to see from the inside?

me me me

2010-03-04T10:48:00.003-05:00

I've shed the things that have stopped me from being me for a while now, nearly 6 months. It's interesting to me to see who has noticed, who hasn't and who's in the middle. And for the people who have noticed some changes in me what are the ones they've zeroed in on and which ones do they turn a blind eye to. It says more about the other people than me, I think. People see what they want to see regardless of what's there. I've known that for quite some time, I think my first ex helped with that revelation. I do love people watching and amateur soc/psych though. All the women at work who complain about making a sandwich for their kids or whatnot, telling me I'm lucky to be alone in the world. The people who haven't updated their megpage since they met me. (Refresh!) The classic example would be parents who treat their kids as children long after they've grown up. It shows what they're really afraid of or prioritizing. What they need to feel good about themselves.

It's a shame more people haven't seen me as I am, for everything I'm putting out there. It's really a shame when it affects my life. When my boss won't see I work overtime, for example. I really try not to do this to other people. I try to see as much as I can, as what's out there.

In my mind this is linked to dating as well, since I think I have so much more to offer than the average person but have such difficulties with men. I've tried finding someone in person, online, everything that seems reasonable. It's hard for so many reasons. Lately I spent several months on chemistry.com which I would not recommend. Nor would I recommend eharmony.com after talking with my brother. Chemistry puts you through hoops of stating your preferences with priority to find someone with similar interests and temperment, and, presumably, within a reasonable radius. Essentially chemistry could not find more than a handful or so reasonable matches for me on the northern half of the eastern seaboard. Really. And my brother had worse luck on eharmony if such a thing is imaginable. I know a lot of people have this experience. I hope to find someone but I'm not going to bank my happiness on it.

I do appreciate the people who have seen, or even just read via email, the changes in me. Well, not changes really. I just took off a damaged veneer to show myself. I appreciate my friends a great deal and hope that they know that even when we're both too busy to keep in touch as we'd like.

Capsule endoscopy

2010-01-18T15:27:00.007-05:00

I'm undergoing a capsule endoscopy right now. I swallowed a tiny camera the size of a large vitamin this morning and have been wearing leads and a little backpack all day. It's a little uncomfortable but not as bad as not being able to eat for 24 hours. The camera has been sending pictures of my GI tract for the last 7 hours, I saw it in my stomach before leaving the hospital. It's a pretty interesting experience. I hope I get some of the photos. I'll have to update with the results in a few weeks.

With the sweatshirt over everything I look like I'm 7 months pregnant, but only on my left side.

The receiver is pretty heavy so I have to be careful not to move around too quickly or it'll pull the patches off.

They told me not to be alarmed if the camera comes out still flashing (I do not need to return it.) I have to avoid MRI machines, anyone else doing a capsule endoscopy and radio transmitters.

say when

2010-01-13T19:08:00.001-05:00

The well is poisoned, the earth salted. Perceptions are made not broken. It's time for change if I can actually make it.

Merry christmas eve!

2009-12-24T20:14:00.003-05:00

As previously mentioned I like being in the kitchen. I'm a housewife sans husband and house. :) I decided to try out some new recipes for tomorrow. I'm going to a coworker's home for Christmas dinner so I want to bring some food to share because I was raised right. The first dish was named Parsnip Puree but I think of it as tubers and rice. It's a parsnip puree with carrots, turnip and parsnips in rice. I tried some and I like it although parsnips and turnips have never been a staple in my diet previously. It's good though! The vegetables are blanched so they add some crunch to the rice's smooth texture. (Someone has been watching Top Chef.)

Next I tried a gluten-free stuffing recipe forwarded to me by a coworker from NPR. Thanks liberal media! It looks like mush but it's seasoned delightfully. I LOVE stuffing and have missed it the last few years. I may have to make it again soon because, seriously, I LOVE stuffing.
At this point I ran out to get my mail and received a package from Nessa and Dave and the girls containing many goodies I am excited about. I love homemade gifts, especially those made by kids. And those that are edible. And photos. And this package contained all those things and more! So since I was making tira misu and received homemade biscotti I figured it a sign and had to try some. Yes, this is half a cup of espresso mixed with egg nog. And biscotti. It was delightful, and, I think, technically my dinner.
After making tubers and rice and stuffing and starting the tira misu this is the sight that awaited me. I hate doing dishes. I have no dishwasher so it's all by hand. Blerg. If you look on the right side of the photo you can see my new lunchbox. It's made of neoprene and super fashionable. I'm very happy with it.
I found some gluten-free ladyfingers so I decided to make tira misu for the first time. I'm not the greatest with custards but I think it'll taste fantastic. Hurray for gluten-free ladyfingers! I've missed you, tira misu.
The bowl on the left is the espresso solution. The tupperware containers behind it are fudge. Behind that is my deep fryer (yay homemade fries!) and on top of that is the container with my double chocolate pecan cookes. The glass of cabernet is because I have all those dishes waiting. Please do my dishes for me, internet. We will work something out in cash or trade.
Woot the final product! I may have a heavy hand with the powdered sugar and cocoa. Perhaps.

This is not a gratuitous cheesecake photo. It is a gratuitous custard photo. I had to make sure it tasted right. I touched up the henna in my hair last night, not that you can tell in this photo. Also my nail polish appears to match my (PJ) shirt. It's by Sephora and is called It's all about me. Because it should be.

I may have had a post-dishes glass of wine before posting this. Perhaps I am now a lightweight. These are merely suppositions. Definitely not fact.

Merry christmas everyone! I should go have some dinner. Wait, I think I skipped lunch. I may have uncovered the secret to my tipsiness.

Oh look you can see my bluetooth speakers in the background. It's so nice having music or TV to listen to while in the kitchen. I am definitely on topic and not at all jumping around.

Also in the mail today was a package from my mom including GF ginger cookies and a check with insistence that I buy something pretty. Oh no! Poor me. I hate pretty.

Tracy Morgan is throwing baloney at a wall ... I am watching 30 Rock, of course. I love that show, Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin.

Right, food.

Quite the domestic

2009-12-19T19:11:00.003-05:00

I've baked a lot the last few days. It's a comfort activity for me, I enjoy being in the kitchen. And I think I'm not half bad at cooking and baking. Today I made fudge (and burned my finger), rice and beans, and double chocolate pecan cookies. The cookies were a new recipe sent to me last night, they're delicious. They're flourless so I don't have to worry about translating to GF flour. Although the gingersnaps I made the other day were delightful, you wouldn't have known they weren't made with all-purpose flour.

I am on vacation until after the new year! So I plan to try out some new recipes and relax in that time. It is a much needed vacation. Seriously.

Cookies!

It's like a stand up routine

2009-12-02T15:25:00.003-05:00

Some people were talking in the break room today and it was just like every sitcom marriage. (It wasn't the first time I've heard such talk just the lengthiest/most detailed.) The woman shops, wants a fancy dinner every week and throws a tantrum over stupid things (one woman throws things and broke her husband's toe). The man likes working on cars and hates the in-laws and talking. For real? How am I single? I hope I'm not wrong when I say my friends don't pull those stunts. Seriously though?! It was so fascinating, I just sat and watched. Smiling and nodding when appropriate.

New haircut

2009-11-14T17:56:00.003-05:00

I got a new haircut on Tuesday and it was exactly what I wanted. My hair has body! I have very fine hair so this is an exciting development for me. This is the result of styling it myself this morning.

ASHG and Oahu

2009-10-25T22:12:00.004-04:00

I finally went to another professional conference! It was interesting, especially since my degree is in cellular and molecular pathology and not genetics.

I did take some time out for enjoyment, of course. I had a nice flight, though long, and filled with EPIC struggles with the stewardesses over the fact that I can't eat gluten. It's like they thought if they insisted hard enough I could eat wheat. If only, ladies. It was a little "who's on first" there for a while when I was saying "wheat allergy" and they were hearing "meat allergy". You'd think this would have been cleared up after I said I can't eat stuffing, pasta, flour, bread or croutons. Or at least by the time I ate chicken ... I had similar issues on the island and really only managed to get one real meal a day. Luckily I had brought snacks.

My room was right on the ocean so I had a great view and could run downstairs to the beach or serenity pool when I had some time. I never really got on the Hawaiian time schedule, which is 6 hours earlier than EDT. I wasn't able to sleep very well on the plane rides either, so I should sleep well tonight and hopefully not be too tired tomorrow. At any rate this meant an early bedtime for me since I was somewhere between Pacific and Eastern time.

I took time for a tour of some of the island including Pearl Harbor, the Dole Plantation, Sunset Beach and the Pali Road up in the rain forest. Pearl Harbor was very moving. Oil was visible and smellable on the water. Large parts of the USS Arizona were visible above or just under the water. Other ships in Battleship Row that were sunk were also marked. I learned that survivors of the Arizona who died later had asked to be interred with the ship. Oddly there were a lot of Japanese on the tour. I'm not sure how the attack is viewed in current Japanese culture, I'd be interested in a perspective. I don't think anyone there spoke English though.

Dole is currently the only pineapple company on the island although they only grow the pineapples there, they're canned in Asia. Other produce includes coffee, macadamia nuts and taro root. Cousin Walter the tour guide was very amusing and informative.

I think those are the highlights. My hotel was right near VERY upscale shops so I window shopped at Cartier and Ferragamo. It was very muggy so I was thankful for the conference shuttle. It was only about a mile or so walk but I worked up quite the sweat the first afternoon. The next time I travel to Polynesia I'll bring more than n+1 days of clothes.

Sunset Beach
USS Arizona Memorial

I love this poster
Waikiki Beach
Me
A replica of a 900-year-old temple in Japan
Bird of Paradise

Reality of life

2009-10-08T22:16:00.002-04:00

I've had a lot of personal development lately. It's something I'm happy about and proud of. In American culture we're brought up believing hard work will get you the stars. Anyone can be president or an astronaut, everyone has a true love they'll meet in some romantic circumstance. It's a load of crap. I feel foolish for not having really accepted this earlier, cynical as I am, but it was so ingrained in me that trying hard and doing the right thing leads to your dreams that I haven't accepted this until now. Simple dreams can be out of reach even if you do everything right. On the other hand you can do everything wrong and still have more than you deserve (see reality TV). I don't mean to take any accomplishments away from people who have earned them, this whole post is on a general level. I am certainly impressed by the friends I have.

It's freeing to realize this. It sounds like it should be depressing but it's not. I have few expectations so I'm able to be content with what I have. I'm not happy with my career but I can go there every day and not be completely miserable. I can appreciate people that I care about who care about me even when they hurt me. It still hurts, but I'm not going to expect perfection from people.

I will still be me, I will still do my best. I will still care about the people I care about totally even knowing they may not return the sentiments the same way or as much. That's just how things go, people will do what they want to do.

I think I'm amazing. I think I'm above average in most ways (clearly the most important ones). I think I'm intelligent, funny, sweet, fun to talk to, easy to be around, sexy, reliable, interesting. I think I'm good at my job, much better than some people around me. I try hard to be the best I can and fix my faults. I know I can be hard to get to know, I'm shy and reserved at heart. I'm trying to not let that happen as much.

I still get frustrated sometimes and don't understand things. It's still new to me. I can accept that at work my age and marital status will come up every week but I'm not exactly ok with it. I think I perform better than I get credit for because people look at me and see 'the new girl' even though I've been doing my job longer and better than the expert resource they turn to. I don't see why the fact that I'm unmarried has anything to do with my job or maturity. And I'm offended by women who say I'm lucky to live alone because they have to make 2 extra lunches in the morning and pick up socks from the living room. I think a loving family is a good thing and don't understand these stereotypical women. I'm fine on my own but I am on my own. There's no one to take care of me when I'm sick. I can't switch cars with my husband if mine is having trouble. I have to do everything for myself.

I'm not passive-aggressive, nagging, shrill, I don't use sex as a bargaining tool, I take care of my appearance, I don't ask stupid questions to hear myself talk, I don't point out problems and insist someone else solve them, I'm not so girly I make a commotion over a fart, I don't insist on my way all the time, I'm not two-faced or manipulative or anything I would call bitchy. Maybe I'm a bitch because I point out that the sweet woman who wouldn't hurt a fly is a two-faced manipulative bitch. I feel like this stereotype---maybe not all of those qualities in one person but that type of woman---is the woman most people are comfortable with, the expected woman. The woman who will move forward at work and fall into having a family. The woman who is seen as strong and a leader somehow. I feel I'm easy to be with, I don't nag, I certainly love sex, I might be girly in some ways but I also enjoy sports and know how to work a drill. I'm not going to make a meeting run 30 minutes over or make a project miss its goal so I can do things my way and point out problems everyone sees but offer no solutions.

I don't get it but I am who I am and I'm happy with who I am.

I'm special

2009-09-21T21:43:00.002-04:00

My astigmatism is bad but I barely have a distance correction so they had to special order my lenses.

My doctor said it was sexy

2009-09-17T20:26:00.004-04:00

A book fell on my foot yesterday. It was shrink wrapped because it had a companion CD or whatever and fell off the stack on its own accord (of course). It left a massive bruise, so I went to the doctor today and had an x-ray. It was hurting and throbbing when my foot was motionless so I thought maybe I fractured a bone. Luckily I did not.

I had an interesting conversation with my doctor. I had blood work done last week because I've been tired lately. It turns out my iron and hemoglobin are rock bottom, I'm down a quart of blood. No wonder! So then I had to explain that I was just standing there and a book attacked me. He was quite impressed with my abilities and thought the bruise was sexy. He then asked if I looked at the bruise at the time and I said yes because I was wearing heels. Later he asked me if I needed a note not to wear heels. I have no idea why except the thinks I'm lying about my place of employment and am really a hooker. But high class enough that my madam will accept a doctor's note.

So yeah, I need to take iron supplements now. I can also ask him for a prescription for a heavier pain killer than naproxen sodium plus tylenol, which I may do just to have something on hand for the next time I'm a spaz. To save an office visit. I may be able to run on Monday but only at a snail's pace and about half the distance I've been doing. Although he said I'm probably already doing a snail's pace (I am) being down so much blood.

I could probably make this funnier because, well, I was attacked by an inanimate object but I'm a little tired. I do love my doctor though, he's snarky. I think I thoroughly impressed him with my awesomeness today. He gave me that look that says, how do you not implode every morning and laughed a little too hard when I said 'oh it's a good thing I haven't given blood lately.' "You'd be so rejected." I'll have to mete out the crazy a little more next time.

And for those keeping track I now require calcium with vitamin D and iron supplements in addition to my multivitamin and fiber.

Behold:

My blog, she is not dead

2009-08-02T12:22:00.006-04:00

I hadn't realized it had been quite so long since I updated. Oops! I've been mostly working anyway so nothing exciting to report. Here are some photos though!

A flower by my back door

My basil, it's much taller now

A family of wild turkeys in the yard!

My new tv!

Photos Paul took on our work outing to Fisher's Island

My building is on the river so we see subs pass by but not this closely

And my car damage. No you totally don't need to leave a not for this.

I used henna to color my hair

2009-04-09T22:16:00.002-04:00

I'm pretty happy with the results.

Lame

2009-03-22T20:49:00.002-04:00

I had been all excited since I joined the Celiac Disease Foundation and they told me that the difference in cost of my food from normal food is tax deductible, since it's the only treatment for my disease. I just did my taxes and it turns out that the standard deduction works out better for me than the itemized. So, essentially I have to take the hit on my food costs.

In related news I spent ~6% of my gross income on medical expenses/food.

At least I get a decent refund this year, that softens the blow.

Wordle is fun!

2009-03-01T10:24:00.002-05:00




Is it me or does it look like most of these words are taken from recent posts?

The Bloggess

2009-02-28T23:21:00.002-05:00

I've recently started reading The Bloggess by recommendation (thanks matt!). Seriously some of the funniest stuff I've ever read. This post in particular had me nearly crying. It's not actually written by the blog author but they clearly have a bond. And I think it's pretty obvious what my favorite letter is.

Family photos

2009-01-23T15:41:00.005-05:00

My mom sent me some photos I've asked for. I love old family photos. The first is my Granpa's family, my Granpa is the youngest boy. This was so odd to me to see him as a little boy and great to see the whole family, especially my great grandparents. The photo is about 85 years old. It's a little surreal, his stories of his childhood are of a much different world than we live in today.

The next photo is of my grandparents wedding. It must have been winter because other photos show everyone in fur coats. You can't quite tell but Granpa's pants are pinstripes and we all know how much I love pinstripes. Again, a very different world. I asked Granpa this summer when he was married, he couldn't remember if it was '47 or '48 which I think is hilarious. It was just so long ago.

This photo has long been one of my favorites. It's me and Granpa teaching my brother to ride his tricycle. Adorable!

12 Monkeys

2009-01-18T21:27:00.001-05:00

It's certainly a Terry Gilliam movie.

Memorial service planned

2009-01-09T20:18:00.002-05:00

My mom and aunt will be up Feb 4-18 with a memorial service Feb 8 and private burial Feb 9. I'll be taking some time off work to help clean out Granpa's house.

Thank you everyone, I still miss Granpa but I'm feeling much better.

Doing better

2008-12-16T19:20:00.004-05:00

I'm doing better now. I'm still melancholy about my Granpa, he meant a lot to me. I did spend the weekend with Matt which helped a lot. It was great being around a friend. The first two days I didn't want to see anyone but I needed a friend this weekend. I'm back at work now but I'm not too busy so it's not much of a distraction. Luckily tomorrow we have a group lunch/outing and then the rest of the afternoon off. I'm still a little out of it which is probably evident in the rambling of this post. I must say though that Spamalot is really funny. And Dominion is a great game.

Acadia National Park 1986 (that yellow sweater is in so many family photos)

Long Pond, Maine 1986 (my outfit is so hot)

2008-12-10T19:41:00.002-05:00

My granpa died today. My mom and aunt will come up after Christmas to have a small ceremony up here. I'm going to miss him but I'm glad he went peacefully.

bad day

2008-12-03T19:11:00.003-05:00

This morning I found out that I have mild osteoporosis. Before I went on the gluten-free diet my body was so nutrient deprived my bones started losing mass. I have to take a calcium plus vitamin D pill every day for the rest of my life. The nurse told me most women should consider it so it's probably not a huge deal. Still, I'm 28.

Then this afternoon I found out my Granpa fell and broke his hip last night. He needs surgery ASAP. He's 92 so we don't even know if he'll make it through the surgery. I'm glad he's living with my Mom now, I was afraid this would happen when he was living alone. Granpa has always been there for me and I love him so I'm pretty sad right now. I hope he recovers ok but I know the odds are against it.

Disappointing relief

2008-11-18T22:06:00.002-05:00

I basically broke off my relationship with my father today. Our relationship had been deteriorating and his recent actions hastened this. I won't go into detail here but I think as much as it sucks to not have a father and to know mine could be so cold it's going to be better for me without him in my life. I had a long conversation with my mom, I hadn't told her anything until today not wanting to involve her if he and I would work things out. She told me some things that cement my theory he just can't love anyone but himself. He does things for you that make him feel good, so there's the illusion of caring but when the chips are down for his loved ones he's no where to be found. Actually, he's right there wanting pity from you.

I'm doing a lot better than it sounds like I should. I think he'd done his damage long ago and as much as recent events hurt I'm not hurt by him any more.

Completely sick

2008-11-15T12:44:00.002-05:00

I was fighting something off all week by taking long naps but I've lost the fight now. Completely. I have zero energy and have basically been sleeping a lot of the last 24 hours. I have some headcold symptoms but nothing too horrible (fingers crossed). I just used this burst of energy to make some food.

Interesting fact, my body temperature is usually 97.4, ranging from 96.7-98.1. So 98.6 is actually a bit of a fever for me.

Indiana Jones: Something about a crystal skull. Whatever.

2008-11-13T20:48:00.001-05:00

Poop carnival.

It's not like I've had it for years

2008-11-11T17:39:00.001-05:00

This morning I finally tried to figure out how to change the time in my new car and in pressing buttons found I have a randomize button on my 6-disc CD player. Poor man's mp3 player!

new haircut

2008-10-25T16:59:00.004-04:00

So I went with the majority last week and got my hair cut. It's super cute it will let me grow in the new and thicker hair with a cleaner look, I think. I'll post a few more photos as I get them but this will give you the idea.

Blogpoll, hair edition

2008-10-09T21:12:00.003-04:00

So I'm trying to decide if I want to cut my hair shoulder length or keep it longer (shoulder blade length). I leave the decision to you! Considerations: I had shoulder length hair for 2-3 years and started growing it out in January 2007. I like both hair styles but the long hair ends up being pulled back/up a lot, especially at work. With my hair growing back thicker and denser it might start to look uneven or thin at the ends.

Blasts your colon! zing!

2008-09-15T21:42:00.002-04:00

What is this? L-A-Z-Y. And ORGANIC. I weep for our country's culinary future.

That's a new one

2008-09-03T18:12:00.001-04:00

I got $2 off a carwash today because it was ladies' day! That's a marketing strategy I haven't seen applied to drive-through automobile care before.

Bad blogger

2008-08-16T10:23:00.002-04:00

So I was sort of on a roll there for a while but stopped updating for a few weeks. No good reason, really. I'm having a good summer visiting friends and my granpa, going to SS Wedding in NC, Wii, reading, etc. The gluten-free diet is going well. I actually found gluten-free food in the airport a few weeks ago! Newark had actual gluten-free brownies, cereal, etc. I was shocked. In NJ of all places. I am also suspecting that the gluten-free diet has noticeably lowered my sodium levels. It makes sense, since I eat almost no pre-packaged foods. I've always had low blood pressure but the last 2 months I've been even more light-headed than usual. Not dangerously so, but sitting to standing makes me light-headed way more frequently.

I'm also coining Celiac's words. Crackers=death shingles. Waffles=death pucks. You get the idea. I'll keep a running tab for you.

OK, it's coffee time.

3 of my favorite things

2008-07-23T18:37:00.002-04:00

As if I didn't love him enough already.

Cooking Monster

2008-07-13T21:17:00.002-04:00

I'm really getting back into baking and cooking. This weekend I've made rice crispies, chicken and rice, fruit and nut bars and hawaiian bread. Tomorrow I plan to make some coconut cakes after I pick up another ingredient. It's nice to have the energy to do this and to try new recipes.

Two Months GF

2008-07-01T01:53:00.002-04:00

I've been gluten free for two months now with only one contamination incident (salad without croutons, chicken and mashed potatoes). It was about 2 weeks ago and took me 5 days to recover. When I say recover I mean after 3 days I decided to stop eating solid food since it would cause so much pain and discomfort even though it was gluten free, light and small in volume. Let's say I'm hoping that's an exaggerated reaction because my body is still healing.

Although I may have a contact reaction to gluten. A test one night on my leg was followed by a huge, red, itchy patch on my chest the next day. Apparently skin reactions can frequently work like that, ie where the lymph nodes and dendritic cells drain to and not where the contact happened, unless the contact was a mucous membrane in which case the reaction would be more immediate. This could still be a reaction to something else but I've never had an allergy to anything else before so I wouldn't know where to start.

Add on that an incident of food poisoning and a stomach bug and it's been a tough month. But I am feeling better. I have gone for a run a couple times and went for a swim once. I still get a little tired after working out but it's not as bad as before. Also I've had thin hair for a while. Well, always really, but thinner in recent years. And it's starting to grow back now. I have a little halo around my face when I pull my hair back. For some reason this is impacting me more than some of the other symptoms/improvements.

To be honest I was hoping to be a little better by this point. I still get tired comparatively easily and retain weight like I'm hibernating (although many people have told me I look good, thank you :)). But I feel better and I don't have a brain fog like I had been having for some time so I'm happy. This diet is really tough but it lets me feel like me and not AWFUL so I'll take it. I'm getting the hang of it.

Close enough

2008-06-29T09:57:00.002-04:00

I have now baked gluten-free versions of muffins (chocolate almond berry), biscuits, doughnuts and bread in addition to the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I think everything I made has been tasty, although they're not always exactly like their wheat equivalent. The bread, oddly, was probably closest. The doughnuts need a little adjustment to the recipe, they're airy instead of cakey. The best part is they're all adaptations of regular recipes, so it looks like that is a tactic that will work for me in a lot of cases. Although I should probably pick up a gluten-free baking book at some point.

Also, today is my granpa's 92nd birthday. Or it was Friday. It was a matter of dispute between the doctor and his oldest sister. My granpa's fantastic. He's going to go live with my mom at the end of the summer so I'll miss living near him again but I'm happy he won't be alone so much.

Easily Amused

2008-06-28T16:21:00.003-04:00

For some reason I really like it when an actor's name appears on screen with them. Not during the opening credits or anything you'd expect, but say a guest star on a TV show is on air as their name pops up.

The Freakonomics guys should hire me

2008-06-26T19:10:00.002-04:00

I was showing Max Baby Name Wizard this weekend and we of course looked up a ton of names. Three names included were Xander, Willow, and Anya---familiar enough to any Buffy fan.

We think the patterns and dates are a little too close for coincidence. (Buffy aired from 1997 to 2003.)

Weird and proud of it

2008-06-18T21:36:00.002-04:00

I just read The Big U by Neal Stephenson and watched Ghost World. Both were excellent and both featured main characters who were not mainstream and didn't want to be mainstream. That's sort of where I'm at with me now. I don't need everyone to like me. I don't care what people in high school would think of me if I went to a reunion. I have friends that I like a lot and I like me and that's a good place to be.

Although I totally feel the frustration Enid has when Steve Buscemi's character changes for the girlfriend. But not as much of her disdain for anyone 'normal'. Mainstream isn't me or my friends but as long as they don't judge me for being different it doesn't matter to me what other people do.

The Trumpet of the Swan

2008-06-11T21:00:00.002-04:00

I've been trying to remember the name of this book for years. It was a favorite of mine in childhood and I just couldn't remember the name or many of the details. I think it's a wonderful story, not surprisingly, from author EB White. Who, incidentally, has some fantastic quotes.

Sometimes children's stories are the best stories.

The Other Boleyn Girl

2008-06-10T21:21:00.001-04:00

Forget about not following the book or being good, in 2 hours of corsets I got zero Johansson cleavage.

New home tour

2008-06-07T17:11:00.008-04:00

I went for a walk today in the borough and took some photos. It's very quaint, there are a lot of shops and galleries and I don't even want to guess at what these houses cost. The borough is a peninsula so there's water from a lot of angles, which must be awesome.

In Plain Sight

2008-06-07T17:03:00.001-04:00

She referenced Columbo, I'm sold.

It was a good restaurant

2008-06-07T09:17:00.003-04:00

There's the repeating noise I can hear at night when the TV and computer are turned off. It's doesn't bother me, but it's there. At first I thought it was something in my apartment, but ruled that out pretty quickly. Then I thought maybe it was something in my landlord's place. When I heard it outside in the day time that ruled that out.

It wasn't until earlier this week when I had a business dinner downtown at a restaurant on the water---beautiful view---that I realized what it was: it's a foghorn. I guess I'm not used to the coast yet.

success!

2008-06-01T15:25:00.001-04:00

I just made my first gluten-free cookies and they're yummy! Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies by adapting my old recipe. Except for burning my fingers it was great.

Feeling better!

2008-05-29T18:46:00.002-04:00

I'm finally feeling significantly better. It took a week for the abdominal pain to go away and about 3 weeks for me to feel like I've gotten any energy back. That was last week. Don't get me wrong, I still sleep a lot on the weekend and am not up to running yet but thankfully I'm feeling better. The past few days I've also felt my brain fog lift. I've been under an increasingly heavy brain fog for at least a year now and there's nothing that could make you feel less like yourself than, you know, not being able to be yourself.

I just saw a nutritionist who gave me some helpful information but told me I was way more prepared than most people. I'm most excited about the list of vitamins and minerals and sources to get them. I'm at a greater risk for osteopenia and osteoporosis so I have to make sure I get enough vitamin D and calcium. I also need to make sure I get enough of the B vitamins since they're usually found in the whole grains most people get with whole wheat bread, etc.

I'm completely turning into a health freak. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, rice, yogurt, cottage cheese, and nuts. I'm also able to eat meat again which rules because meat is delicious. Also, a grilled piece of meat may be my only out-of-house option other than salad, which would get old fast. Gluten is in all sorts of sauces and foods you wouldn't think of (licorice, I'm talking to you) so I may have to play it safe at times. I've also been eating my largest meal at lunch. This is mostly because I need it to get through the work day. I'm sort of like a baby in that I need to eat a little bit every 4 hours until dinner when I'm fine until morning. It makes sense when you think about it, despite being overweight for me I don't think I have energy stores really built up. Also, the extra weight I've gained that I just couldn't get off should come off easier now, so that's something to look forward to. It's not a lot of weight but it's enough for me to notice and to impact my health. (Although all that exercise wasn't for nothing, every time a nurse takes my blood pressure and heart rate they're full of positive exclamations.)

Ooh, also it should be ok for me to have any distilled liquor. Beer is still out, except for the hard-to-find gluten-free stuff (unless I brew it) but I should be able to have liquor from any source without a problem. I don't think this is 100% proven yet but if I eventually don't have to worry about it that would be great. One less thing to worry about in this whole mess. Also I think I've decided (about 90% there) to make my own kombucha. It's so expensive but it seems to be helping me and I like it. I'm still thinking about it though.

Hurray again for feeling better!

Juno

2008-05-25T19:19:00.000-04:00

Impressively, it completely lives up to the hype.

What I'm reading

2008-05-24T12:22:00.003-04:00

I spent the last few hours lazing around my apartment with my copy of the May-June Mental Floss and then cracking open Steven Pinker's The Stuff of Thought. Mental Floss is a trivia magazine and The Stuff of Thought looks at how language relates to meaning and the images in the speaker's head. They're both perfect examples of why I like language---English and foreign---and in a greater sense my sense of humor and amateur interest in psychology. I think details are important; nuance can completely change the tone of an exchange. (It's why most modern stand-up comedians are successful, finding a subtlety and exploiting it for an audience.) Why did someone choose a particular word over another? With so many ways to convey 'small' why aren't puny, little, wee, tiny and meager all completely interchangeable? Learning the concept of connotation was, retrospectively, a turning point for me in my understanding of why I like language and literature. It's also why you can't hand a foreigner a grammar pamphlet and a dictionary, not all words are equal out of context.

Similarly with trivia it's the details that make something memorable. A biography can include important milestones and achievements but without the color commentary the subject doesn't truly become a person in our minds. A figure instead of a character, perhaps. Trivia is something to connect to.

Plus, having a cache of trivia on hand makes the teller sound really interesting.

Spring!

2008-05-22T20:54:00.001-04:00

Looking out the back of my apartment.

Learned from Simpsons commentary

2008-05-11T20:00:00.002-04:00

Apparently, the guidelines for character names note that a name can be used if it is either completely original or a name held by more than 5 people. The only time this was violated on The Simpsons was for Armin Tanzerian. Once an insurance adjuster for a writer on the show (who had an accident his first week in LA) and at the time of the episode airing a, luckily, Fox lawyer, Principal Skinner's alter ego is apparently the only person in the country with the name.

I'm thinking that blood test will show some nutrient deficiencies

2008-05-06T19:40:00.003-04:00

So is this guy:
I think that's impressive even for me.

Other updates from my appointment yesterday---it may take a few months for me to feel better, I may also have IBS in addition to the Celiac's and acid reflux, I'm to see a nutritionist, I have a contact (another patient) in the area to talk to about label reading, grocery shopping, etc, I joined the Celiac Disease Foundation and will go to meetings in the area (ish) once they get rolling. Apparently the CDF meetings are less boo-hoo for me, I can't eat anything convenient and more practical, finding vendors that sell good food, etc. Which is nice.

I'm going to bring food in to work tomorrow to give to coworkers and get out of my house. The refridgerated stuff might be harder to get out of the house. Anyone hungry?

You are my fire

2008-04-29T19:22:00.002-04:00

On my drive up to TC I found a fabulous/horrible radio station. The 7p DJ seemed to play only schmoopy dedications with strong religious overtones. One woman called in to play a dedication for her husband, whom she has been with for 8 years, and was currently overseas in the military. After a touching if diabetic tribute to him she dedicated the song I Want it That Way by The Backstreet Boys. Number 1, I'm old enough now that married couples have The Backstreet Boys as their song? And two, um, the lyrics seem to think it's a break-up song.

This gave me a fabulous idea, though. Wouldn't it be fun to dedicate songs to your loved ones that were wholly inappropriate or just plain awful? Hilarious. Too bad for me and my friends that NPR doesn't do dedications.

boo

2008-04-29T16:33:00.002-04:00

I found out a few hours ago that I have celiac's disease. That means no wheat, barley or rye. No shredded cheese or some lunch meats. Nothing cooked in a toaster or deep fryer that previously had something with gluten in it without being cleaned. Etc. It's completely zero tolerance and lame. Thank you to everyone for thinking of me as I've felt so horrible. I should be feeling better very soon.

good days

2008-04-24T18:39:00.002-04:00

Today the endoscopy went well, they gave me less anesthetic so I was out for only about half an hour. I'm annoyed I can't seem to get my tongue ring back in myself though. I'll get some help with that tomorrow. It went in after last time and I've had it for 2 years so I don't think there'll be a problem. Lame though. I have a follow up on May 5 to get the biopsy results. I shouldn't try to be gluten free until then since it's a major diet change, the doctor told me. But I can avoid it if I need to, unlike the past week when avoiding gluten could give a false negative on this test. Ugh, I'm ready for a diagnosis.

Yesterday was a good day at work. My monthly informal science talk time for our group (Pharmacogenomics Kaffee Klatsch) is going over well with my colleagues and bosses, so that's good. I've had some good feedback from my boss that he's heard from other people in the department and outside the company so I feel really good about that. It's always nice when your work is appreciated.

Can't you hear the inflection?

2008-04-21T18:46:00.001-04:00

Hurray for dairy!

2008-04-14T18:59:00.002-04:00

I went completely dairy free (no chocolate, no baked goods with dairy, no cheese-flavored chips or crackers) for five days and tried it again today. No appreciable difference in my symptoms, huzzah! In that time I was also mostly egg free (some eggs in baked goods) and had meat three times (beef broth, sushi and shrimp angel hair pasta). I suspected the meat was my problem and tried to stay meat free but thought that I needed a control in this experiment and more options in my diet. The meat did upset my GI tract quite a bit. Adding dairy back in, not so much. I'm going to try eggs straight (fried egg sandwich or something) in a few days then meat again a few days after that. I think that the protonix for the acid reflux is helping as well, which is awesome. I also haven't heard about my blood test results so I'm betting I don't have Celiac's or Crohn's (I'll have to call tomorrow) so that leaves IBS I think. It's going to be a bummer if I can't have fried food or meat that much and that I'll have to take another drug after eating them but after this mostly vegan experience I'll take it. I'd rather be mostly vegetarian than lactose-intolerant. Milk is everywhere: crackers, cookies, cakes, mashed potatoes, chocolate, all sorts of sauces, lobster risotto (evidently) etc. This area has some good cuisine and it was impossible to eat vegan. I could do vegetarian or dairy-free but not both.

Anywho, it's nice to have an unofficial diagnosis.

OK but not great

2008-04-08T02:19:00.002-04:00

Health update! My gall bladder is fine, I found out today. I'm actually a little annoyed because it means a lack of diagnosis and continuing pain. My gastroenterologist gave me a Rx for the reflux which has helped some so far and should help more as I take it a little longer. He also gave me a Rx for something when the pain is worst and took some blood to check for Celiac's and Crohn's. I'm also supposed to be dairy free for 4-5 days to see if that is the problem. Sidebar: Can you imagine me without cheese? The horror.

So I sort of feel like I'm back at square one with all the frustrations that brings. On top of that I've gained a little weight back, despite eating very little. It could be all the sleeping I've been doing (which if you're wondering why you haven't heard from me much lately is the explanation). Also I've started sleeping in two shifts which, fun fact, I found out people used to do before electricity. They'd go to sleep after sundown for a few hours, wake up for a while in the middle of the night, and then sleep more until sunup. Which is why I write to you now, internet, despite working 8a-5p every day.

Also I have a chest cold. Third time's the charm this winter! Although it's spring now so hopefully this is my last cold until next winter.

Despite all this (the frustration with not eating anything comfortably and not doing much beyond work because I'm tired when I get home; and the usual charming family issues) I'm actually feeling pretty good. So that's a good thing.

Before I try to get more sleep, the doctor did tell me what each of the photos was from my endoscopy, so that's awesome. If I sent it to you the two on the left are my stomach (with a view of the camera in the bottom one), the upper right is my small intestine and the lower right is the esophagus with some signs of reflux. Awesomeness! (The photos not the reflux.)

Not for weak stomachs

2008-03-30T17:43:00.003-04:00

My endoscopy last week went well. I have some irritation from reflux that is being treated now but I need further tests on gall bladder function. The sweet part is the photo of my esophagus and stomach they gave me. I'm so geeky, I was so happy to find it in my folder as I left the hospital. I think I'm going to frame it.

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T20:38:00.002-04:00

I woke up with a migraine this morning that would not go away. I took two imitrex, which worked before, but it would not go away. It was probably the second worse migraine pain I've ever had but it lasted a lot longer. So I went to the ER. They treated me almost immediately, gave me a shot of some pain killer (in the ass) and let me hang around for about an hour before releasing me. My head still hurts a little but I feel much better now. I even had a little to eat.

I really hope this doesn't happen again.

Stupid winter

2008-03-01T13:33:00.002-05:00

I've had a flu the last week and a half. Again. I feel like I just got over a flu and a week or so later was sick again. I'm tired of being a tired cranky pants. I haven't been doing much more than sleeping and working, it's lame. I heard this flu season was especially bad; that the strain the vaccine was made for is still strong enough that people are getting sick who had the vaccine and that there are other strains out there that are quite virulent that weren't included in the vaccine. Unfortunately, sleeping all day doesn't help so I just have to ride this out. Working less just means the work will pile up. I still left early a few times though.

On the bright side my talk in Boston went really well. I'll have to spend another weekend in Boston when the weather gets nicer and I don't have a meeting to attend.

Now off to do my huge pile of laundry.

Jimmy's response

2008-02-27T18:46:00.001-05:00

I actually caught this on the show, I fell asleep during the Oscars and woke up when the Fucking Matt Damon music came on. After the video Ben said the creepiest part was watching his idol Harrison Ford get really into singing "Fucking Ben Affleck". I love Harrison Ford.

k2tog

2008-02-11T22:24:00.000-05:00

I've been off-and-on knitting a blanket for about 2 years now (I think). It's finally done! Hurray! It's warm and squishy, and I'm quite pleased with the pattern.

Overheard in the grocery store

2008-02-09T16:09:00.000-05:00

Stock guy 1: We had a sale on eggs the week before Halloween.
Stock guy 2: Halloween? Easter, maybe. ...
SG1: Yeah, I couldn't believe it. Buy one get two free. We had a lot of kids come in. Sure they're for your parents.
[pause]
SG1: We sold a lot of eggs that week.

I think this is his best comedy work since Eurotrip.

2008-02-04T19:57:00.001-05:00

I guess Jimmy Kimmel keeps bumping Matt Damon by chance? This is still funny without the back story.

Selby Botanical Gardens

2008-01-22T20:32:00.000-05:00

I'm psychic, just inaccurately so

2008-01-21T21:22:00.000-05:00

I was just thinking the other day that it would be funny if I got picked for jury duty, since I just moved here. And I did! Except back in Michigan. Too bad, I think I'm one of only a few people who don't mind jury duty.

15% sexier?

2008-01-12T18:51:00.000-05:00

I should really work on that algorithm. I said over a month ago I'd get to posting photos of myself but I hate taking photos of myself so I put it off. It's worse than writing my own letter of recommendation. But I've now lost 10 lbs so to mark that milestone I'll suck it up (ha!) and post some pictures. The first one is the most recent photo of me, I think, from around July, for comparison. My hair is also a lot longer. I found some 2-3 year old photos of me with really short hair that looks cute, I'll have to go back to that again sometime. Anywho, without further stalling, I present my healthifying.

Hmm, maybe it doesn't show.

An excellent swan song for Carr

2008-01-01T21:16:00.000-05:00

And a bowl game I don't have to block out. Go blue!

This reminds me of the couple I saw in the laundromat yesterday

2007-12-31T19:40:00.000-05:00

Highlights from the hour or so our time overlapped include:
Him: Next time we shouldn't wait a month to do laundry. (It took two cars to bring them, their baby, and all the laundry.)
Her: I didn't wait a month.
Him: Well then, ...
Her: I did laundry two weeks ago and folded it and put it on the bed and SOMEONE knocked it on the floor. Who did that? (Seriously, how dirty was their floor? Their baby's bottle fell on the laundromat floor and they gave that back to her. And she couldn't put the laundry away?)

They also had an argument about whether the guy could go a mile down the road to a grocery store to use the bathroom or if he could go home. She complained going home would take too much gas. There are at least 2 other laundromats within 3 miles of this one, how far could they possibly have to drive? Oh, and she maligned the guy to the infant after he left.

I'm sure this was an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.

Does NYC always look better in black and white?

2007-12-28T15:57:00.000-05:00

It runs in the family

2007-12-27T23:44:00.000-05:00

My Granpa has a cuckoo clock, he's had it as long as I can remember. It was really fun to watch every half hour when I was a kid. I was over at his place on Christmas Eve and helped him repair it. He told me how when he's in bed and wants to know the time but is facing away from his alarm clock he'll just wait to hear how many times the cuckoo chirps. This amused me greatly, I am frequently way too lazy to turn over to get the time. I firmly believe a cuckoo clock would help me be entirely too lazy to turn over, even if it meant waiting half asleep for the better part of an hour.

Marie Antoinette

2007-12-18T16:08:00.000-05:00

From the color palette of this movie I'd say Sofia Coppola is strongly influenced by My Little Ponies.

This is why I watch How I Met Your Mother

2007-12-11T19:28:00.000-05:00

Well, this, Alyson Hannigan and NPH.

That's going to hurt tomorrow

2007-12-08T18:05:00.000-05:00

I did aerobics today for the first time in over a month. I'm already a little sore, I can't wait until tomorrow. :)

I also made cheddar and ale soup the other day. It's delicious. It's not quite up to Grizzly Peak standards but it should cure my cravings. I hope it freezes well. It was about 45 minutes of work, which isn't that bad but it'll be better if I can freeze some of it and not have to make a big batch every time I want some. The only bad part was that I cut my thumb while making the soup. It's not too bad but having a tender thumb makes so many tasks harder. I"m looking at you, buttons.

I also have another several days to wait until my car has a stereo again. I called them on Thursday to ask if the internal component had come in. They told me they didn't take it out. What?! I've never had an auto shop decline to make a repair like that. Also, the woman at the desk specifically told me they took some part of it out for repairs. Lame.

My department had a meeting at Mohegan Sun this week which was interesting. The meeting itself was nice for me as an introduction to the department and some people I've been communicating with but haven't actually met. The casino was huge. I didn't gamble though, too busy and I'd probably just lose the money. There were a bunch of restaurants and shops in the place too. And I think they have concerts there frequently so I'll have to check out the webpage and see if anyone good is coming soon.

New thing!

2007-12-03T20:18:00.000-05:00

I was just discussing The Prestige with Matt (I saw the movie, he read the book) and I thought of a new feature. One line reviews! See, we pretty much decided that both forms of this story were flawed but still enjoyable. But the best reason I have for seeing the movie? David Bowie is Tesla.

Now 10% sexier

2007-12-02T14:40:00.000-05:00

OK that number is made up, but I have lost about 7 lbs this month. All this moving and unpacking and some stomach issues are responsible. I haven't worked out in at least a month. I'm hoping to get back on a schedule soon. I want to finish putting things away, hanging things up and cleaning in the next few days so that should leave me more time in the evening to exercise. And relax! Hurray for relaxing!

I'm happy about this weight loss though, even if stomach issues aren't the best way to go about it. I am eating better though so I'm not worried. I lost the muffin top, went down a belt notch and backed away from the overweight line. I think another 8-13 lbs should put me solidly in the healthy BMI range.

(sort of) huzzah!

2007-11-27T22:10:00.000-05:00

I unpacked the last of my boxes just now. Of course, there's still stuff to put away, photos and hangings to put up, and a good dusting and vacuuming to do after all that is done. But the end is nigh!

I almost have my car stereo fixed too. I'm actually a little ticked off. I made an appointment a week ahead of time, I drop it off this morning and take the shuttle to work, I get to work and find out the car is ready to go (they could have just told me to wait), pick the car up at the end of the day and find out that they need to order a new stereo. I could have told you that. I DID tell you that. Whatever. I was expecting that to begin with but they implied it was done when I called this morning and done to me means the problems are fixed. Especially since he made a point of telling me that the bracket for the front plate needed to be ordered. (Seriously, shouldn't plate sizes/holes in the car be standard? At least shouldn't they match the back plate?) I think I'm really just upset because after telling me the stereo doesn't work the woman at the desk told me the stereo was gone, sent out to be repaired. That made me happy because it has been constantly searching for a disc for the last 17 days. It's a little headache-y. But it's not gone. I just hope the new stereo shows up soon, it'll make the $40 I spent to be told my stereo doesn't work worth it, after about 10 times that to actually fix it. Yay car repairs!

Moving is a disease, part DMV

2007-11-23T12:43:00.000-05:00

Before I talk about how awful the DMV is I want to mention that my Grandfather's funeral was very nice. The American Legion said a prayer at his wake, the funeral sermon was very comforting and the Naval Honor Guard ceremony was very moving. My feelings are still confused, on the one hand he was good to me when I was a child, on the other I barely knew him. And on top of that there are issues with my Dad. He's behaving exactly the way his father behaved, which he hated him for, and on top of that goes on and on about how generous and loving he is to us. And more that I don't want to get in to now. Family.

I did get to see my other Granpa yesterday, which was really nice. I don't get to see him a lot but now that I'm in state hopefully I will. I love hearing his stories from his childhood and working at Pratt and Whitney. He's 91 so they really are stories from a different world at times.

I now have my CT license, registration, and car insurance. It took two trips to the DMV totaling 3 hours, a trip to get the emissions testing done, and $262. The $20 for emissions testing had to be cash, which I didn't know at the time. I also needed to have a lien release for my car because even though I paid it off in September the title still had the lien on it. I had to call Fifth Third Bank and ask them to send the lien release. First they told me they mailed that to me on October 30, which I never got. (Either it's in today's mail or they sent it to the address I was at when I bought the car, which would only make sense in a bureaucracy.) Then she said it could take 3 business days to FAX. Thankfully it faxed immediately and I got my plates and registration this morning. Let's just say lame.

Unpacking is moving along. I need to get rid of empty boxes and move things to storage (not too much) when my landlord finishes that room in the attic. Half the remaining boxes are books, the rest being hanging pictures and other random things. The closet space here is less than at my last place so the random things will be a little more random as I'm putting them away. I have no linen closet but tons of space in the kitchen, for example, so the cupboard in the kitchen has towels and stuff in it. But all my furniture is inside and the essentials are unpacked.

I have the renter's insurance agent coming soon to do an inspection, then I may call a few doctor's offices to get new doctors and a dentist. Then I'm calling it a day. It's my birthday so I'm going to relax. I mean, I'll probably do some unpacking or something because the mess is driving me nuts, but also relax. Maybe I'll set up my Wii or keep going on Guitar Hero III.

hardest quiz ever

2007-11-17T22:01:00.001-05:00

http://www.mentalfloss.com/quiz/quiz.php?q=147

I got 30%.

Moving is a disease, part III

2007-11-16T18:52:00.000-05:00

I last left off on Wednesday morning. That day I luckily got my laptop, badge and parking pass at work. Hurray! I'm still waiting on the HR page to confirm my paycheck and benefits but at least I should have access to that now.

Wednesday also brought me more family drama, but on the bright side I found that the e-mail I sent Ken Jennings was published on his blog. Another geek thinks I'm cool! A famous geek! I didn't get much unpacking done on Wednesday because I was at work for the whole afternoon.

Thursday was exciting for me but a bummer for any neighbors that can see in, I got curtains! I also found out that my bathroom will need work. I showered earlier in the week and couldn't get much water to come out of the showerhead, mostly the faucet. And it drained slowly. This needed to be fixed but was manageable until the landlord could replace the faucet. Yesterday however the water SLOWLY drained from the tub after my shower. Like it took 18 hours. And the toilet won't flush really while it does this. So that's going to need work. Unfortunately it looks like that will have to be on Monday or Tuesday. Sponge bath it is!

Yesterday I also got my car running again. It was towed at 7:30a, luckily covered by Progressive, and fixed by 9:30a. It wouldn't run because the idle air solenoid needed replacing. Obviously. Who wouldn't guess that? The stereo is still dead though. That's going to be lowish priority right now.

I also had some sad news yesterday, my father's father died. I've seen him once in the last 17 years so I'm mostly sad about the lost potential relationship. It's going to be strange seeing family I haven't seen in almost 2 decades, or more in some cases.

Today was a better day, I have a lot of stuff unpacked. Most of what's left is books, paintings and photos and other decorative stuff, and some random boxes. Also still that surge protector. And some bathroom items that I haven't found in any of the boxes labeled as such. My couch is also in the apartment now! The guys took out the bed and hoisted up the couch. They told me I wasn't allowed to buy any more sleeper sofas, that they would be disassembled with a chainsaw. As my Granpa said, kids these days don't like to work.

The day just flies by when you're trying to get settled in a new apartment in a new state. I remember everything I did but it still doesn't seem like it should fill the time. I guess the internet filled the rest.

Moving is a disease, part II

2007-11-14T10:22:00.000-05:00

In my haste to get a post up last night I forgot to mention a very amusing part of the cleaning and painting fun on Friday. I realized I hadn't cleaned the drip pans under the burners so I stuck them in the dishwasher. After 10-15 minutes the dishwasher started spewing soapy water. Hey, at least it helped clean the floor!
So when I left off yesterday I had driven about 14 hours (including gas and bathroom breaks), 10 of which were without a radio or mp3 player. My car needed a jump for some unknown reason and traffic around NYC was a little heavier than I expected for a Sunday afternoon. I guess people were going back home after a weekend in the city. I fell asleep around 9p and woke up at 7a to be ready for the movers.

The movers showed up at 9ish, just two this time. The lead guy was the same but the other guy was different from the Michigan crew. They complained about all my stuff some more. I know I have a lot of stuff (I'll need help going through it when I move again) and some of it is heavy as large pieces of furniture often are, but come on. I told the moving company what I had as best I could---they asked me if I had a DVD player and VCR, an ironing board, etc but weren't interested in my small kitchen appliances. Weird. And really this is their chosen profession. So there were stairs on one end. Boo hoo.

I'm in the second floor of an old townhouse, it's nice and newly renovated. It's also bigger than my old place, although closet space is smaller so I need to do some rearranging on that front. The only problem with the stairs is that they aren't a straight shot, there's a turn at the bottom. So my queen box spring and sleeper sofa couldn't make it up. My landlord took out a window so they could get the box spring up but the sofa is currently in the barn. It'll have to go up the same way but moving special services needs to take care of that. MSS also took care of breaking down my desk for some reason. It's just a bunch of cams. The movers took apart my bed frame and dining room table. Once again I'm a little fuzzy on the line between standard and special services here. I wasn't even expecting the table to come apart at all and yet the desk was a special service.

So Monday was a bit of a trial. My landlords are nice though, an older couple. The house is on 5 acres and the nearest neighbor is the landlady's daughter. The whole area is very rural/low population suburban. Almost everyone at Pfizer is at least 10 years older than me (or at least they look it). So this is definitely not going to be the college town atmosphere I'm used to. Not that I went out a lot but when I wanted to there were people to see and things to do.

Yesterday I unpacked most of the day. Comcast came to set up the cable, internet and phone. That was frustrating because he couldn't split the line in the living room again for cable and internet because it had already been split in the basement and I would lose signal. There was a cable jack in the bedroom but he wasn't allowed to run cables through/over doorways. So I had him set up internet and phone in the living room and cable in the bedroom and then just ran the cable myself when he left. At the same time the MSS guy was assembling the desk and assessing the couch. If they take off the legs and take out the bed hoisting it should be easy. I guess I have a bigger couch than normal. I didn't think about it very much, I figured someone must have had a couch up here and professional movers could make it work.

I also found out yesterday, on my way in to work to collect my badge, parking pass and laptop, that my car died again. Fantastic. The battery is only 2 years old so it shouldn't be a problem. Unless I got a bad one or something. So I didn't get any of that stuff yet. I also didn't get a whole lot unpacked because I spent so much time setting up my desk and entertainment center. I still haven't found the power strip for the entertainment center so I can't plug everything in yet. God only knows what box that's in.

I did get caught up on TV yesterday and today I plan to start catching up on my web comics and blogs. I hope to get unpacked completely by the end of the weekend. I hate living out of boxes.

Moving is a disease, part I

2007-11-13T18:11:00.000-05:00

The movers came on Friday; it took one packer and two carriers 6 hours to pack my entire place and load it on the truck. That's about what I expected. I have a lot of stuff. I went through a lot of it but I think the next time I move I'll have to be more thorough. I'll also consider packing myself (unless like this time it was paid for) because as I'm unpacking I'm having a hard time finding things I need. For example, I would chose to pack the power cord with the corresponding item or all together in one box. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Friday evening I cleaned and put primer on my painted walls with the indispensible help of Chris and Ashley. That actually went pretty well. The beer and paint fumes were great for morale and the red walls only needed two coats of primer. I think the point I realized I needed to actually stand in front of the open door was when I thought it was REALLY funny that Ashley was trying to blow the water out of Chris's beard.

Saturday I packed up my fridge and freezer, packed my car, and did the last of the vacuuming and cleaning. Then I watched the football game with C&A and got on my way. It was really sad leaving town but I have to say that I'm glad I'm not the last one out. I'm going to really try to be good about keeping in touch with everyone since my friends mean a great deal to me.

About 2 hours out of town my car stereo died. I felt like Homer Simpson that time he and Lisa did the sensory deprivation tank thing. Driving along the dark Ohio/Pennsylvania stretches of I80 with no one to talk to or radio to sing along to. It wasn't too bad, I amused myself somehow. I stopped for the night near Punxsatawny hoping to stop in town really quickly before moving on. But my car had other ideas. It did not start and I needed to call my car insurance company to send me someone to jump it. Luckily, Progressive offers roadside assistance. I got going later than I intended to so I skipped the side trip. It might be better to not ruin Groundhog Day with the real thing.

The rest of the trip was ok, except for some heavy traffic between Newark and NYC. That actually wasn't too bad considering how bad I think it could be; it took me about an hour/hour and a half to do that stretch. I got to my new apartment around 7. I brought a few things up from my car and basically crashed.

In the next segment, the movers arrive!

Moving freakout

2007-11-01T21:41:00.000-04:00

I'm moving very shortly. I have a lot to do in a short time, without much notice. I'm going to miss all my good friends left in town and the ones that are already long distance. My friends mean so much to me I'm really bummed that I won't be near anyone and won't be in the best area to meet new people. I'm shy and I prefer to hang out at home but I'm really going to have to go out of my way to make friends.

I hope this new job works out for me, for at least a year or two. The last few years have been so hard I feel like I need something to work out so I can stop being so stressed and depressed so much and be myself.

I'm getting sad again, back to distracting myself.

Geek links

2007-10-20T17:59:00.000-04:00

I've come across a few amusing links lately. At least they amuse a former college newspaper copy editor who is not afraid to correct improper signs in, for instance, the mall. Allegedly.

www.quotation-marks.blogspot.com
www.apostropheabuse.com
www.lowercasel.blogspot.com

Oh we're past the line

2007-09-04T10:52:00.000-04:00

I found a link to this travesty in my inbox just now. I quietly rejected the skinny jeans and gaucho pants. I openly hated the leggings and the oh my god capri-length leggings. But this is too far. Is it 1992? Is the next step to take that horrendous denim jumpsuit fad and start making them in colors? Or how about the mom jeans trend? Ugh.

I'm not very stylish. At least, I'm not very trendy. I realize those are different things but my budget doesn't allow me much latitude in the stylish department and, really, most days I'm just in the mood for jeans and a t-shirt. But I think I look nice. I rarely wear sweats in public unless I'm actually working out. And most importantly I don't look back at old photos and say what was I thinking. If I'm going to wear something noticeable it's going to be more Audrey Hepburn than Madonna at various hideous sartorial incarnations.

I think that gets to the meat of my distaste with the many horrible fashion trends. They're so prevalent. People just look like an idiot because some magazine told them to. A quick scan of campus reliable shows the same girl wearing the same clothes in every classroom and coffee shop. If you're going to look like an idiot, at least make it of your own design.

Lake Michigan Sunset

2007-09-03T13:30:00.001-04:00

I finally got around to doing this

2007-09-03T13:16:00.001-04:00

I went to simpsonizeme.com to make myself a simpson. I guess it's pretty close.

3pm with Heidi

2007-08-22T21:25:00.000-04:00

I had my first professional massage today to try to help my migraines. Well, specifically, the migraine I've had for the last week and a half. It was delightful and helped, I think. It's not gone completely but part of the pain just feels like muscle soreness from working the knots out. Huzzah! I just did a half an hour massage targeted to my neck, head and shoulders but I'll have to spring for a full body, hour-long massage sometime.

I'm looking forward to not having a migraine again. I've been exhausted, irritable and unable to think for 11 days. The massage was very helpful, I highly recommend them in general and for migraines.

Charities are so picky

2007-08-20T19:10:00.000-04:00

I bought a new couch and chair recently. I'm getting a new job, well, hired as a colleague for the job I'm contracting at, and they'll be moving me whenever they actually give me a written offer on the job. So I decided to get new furniture now! Below are photos of my old living room and my new living room. My new couch is younger than I am! Huzzah!

Actually my old couch served me well. I've logged many nap hours on it. I've finally scheduled, although somewhat tentatively, a pick up to donate it to the local Kiwanis. It is SO HARD to give away furniture. The Salvation Army needs two items or more before they'll pick furniture up, Friends In Deed doesn't answer when I call or have voicemail, and St. Vincent de Paul can't store furniture. Egads.

Anyway, I really like my new couch and chair. IKEA may also have a matching swivel, reclining rocker in stock at some point but I'm not going to hold my breath. The new couch has been great, as was the old, for all the naps I've been taking recently. I've had a migraine since Sunday. Last Sunday. And several days of the two weeks before that. It sucks. A lot. Many people who get migraines have been feeling it lately though so it might be at least partially weather related. Still, lame. I'm keeping a food journal to help me figure out if they're related to what I eat, how much I sleep or how much I exercise though.

Oh, I also bought an additional dresser and a night stand but haven't assembled them yet. I'm trying to figure out if I should assemble them and use the dresser to help while I'm sorting through clothes for Goodwill or if I should just have them moved in the boxes.

Landmark?

2007-08-01T19:09:00.000-04:00

Last week I went to CT on the corporate shuttle to check out the new space we'll occupy with my coworker and boss. It was fairly productive although there wasn't time to see the whole site. There was time to eat lobster, crab, lobster bisque and fried oysters though. Delicious!

Anyway, up the quaint New England street from the restaurant was this:

Wow that movie was trrble. But, you know, I did keep watching. On TV. I was bored.

Julia Roberts sucks.

Zorse!

2007-06-29T20:18:00.000-04:00

I live for things like this. A male zebra impregnated a horse and they had a baby. Like a mule but awesomer. Nothing against mules, but their coats aren't quite like this. I wish I could own this zorse and ride it every day. I'd also like to know how it handles the uneven chromosome numbers. It's interesting and fantastic.

Must be the aluminum zirconium tetrachlorohydrex glycerol

2007-06-27T18:47:00.000-04:00

I put on a t-shirt and jeans for casual Friday and of course it blew up in my face. I waited to put my deodorant on until after I put my shirt on because it was tight enough that it would leave deodorant marks if I did not. Yeah, I could rub the shirt together and most of it would come out but I was going to work and wanted to look presentable.

Of course, it bleached my underarms and a big spot on my chest where a glob dropped in between arms. I could wear it again if I didn't have that glob right on my chest. I guess it'll have to be an under the sweater shirt. Damn, it was new and I really like the color.

Oh, it also didn't show up until I got to work.

I'm incredible.

Birds and Tigers and jumpsuits, oh my!

2007-06-17T15:49:00.000-04:00

Last weekend I went to a Tigers game with some friends. The weather was beautiful, we won by a lot, and we had a yummy dinner in Greektown. All in all a great day. I mean, I had a hot dog and a daiquiri, how bad could the day be?

We had standing room only tickets which was fine by me since we paid less to be physically closer to the field than usual. The game was sold out so elbowing for space became necessary but really it was nothing compared to a Michigan football game and it was also a good time so that didn't really bother me.

The first thing we noticed was that the field was covered in birds:

Somehow, it didn't seem to affect the game. And no birds died. Apparently they honor the deal.

While I was waiting for the aforementioned daiquiri, for like 2 innings, I had a great conversation with the wicked drunk woman in front of me. She was fabulous. She added her own liquor to her daiquiri to be sure she got enough. She so had enough. But seriously, she was great. I also snuck a photo of this woman in possibly the worst outfit ever.

A denim jumpsuit. A denim, tubetop/shorts jumpsuit. With gold orthopedic sandals. I mean, she beat out the guy in the purple pimp shoes and the other guy in the red lame suit. Glorious.

I love baseball.

See, I am a softy

2007-06-15T14:05:00.001-04:00

No one can accuse me of being a romantic. At least not in the traditional, rom-com sense. I think too many romantic comedies are drivel. They play up stereotypes of men, women and marriage, which is insulting, but more importantly not funny. Or entertaining. And I don't find that "two people are getting married but one meets the person they're really meant for and leaves the original person but they're ok with it because they want the other person to have true love" story line charming. Like in Sleepless in Seattle and The Wedding Planner. It's not offensive in The Sweetest Thing, in my opinion, because the breakup of the couple at their wedding is a mutual decision. Also because that movie is really funny. Anyway, it's not that I think these people should marry someone they don't love, I just don't think the jilted person would be hunky-dory about it.

There are some romantic comedies that I do like. In fact, I think my all-time favorite, desert island movie is considered a romantic-comedy (but also so much more): The Princess Bride. I love a lot of movies and many have been favorites of mine since early childhood (Real Genius I'm looking at you here) but when I think about keeping only one movie with me this is the only one I really feel ok with. Maybe because it has action, humor, sentiment and whimsy instead of being pure action or humor, etc. Or maybe because it has action, humor, sentiment and whimsy. And Peter Falk.

Anywho, I got on this train of thought because I was thinking about all the weddings my friends are having this summer or next. My thoughts led me to my earliest wedding memory, and possibly the only reason I liked The Muppets Take Manhattan over the other Muppet movies. This scene was my favorite reason for watching the movie:

(Note I did not say the The Great Muppet Caper wasn't better, just that this scene was my favorite.)

I need to buy the Muppet movies.

It's good for everyone

2007-06-06T13:20:00.000-04:00

About a month ago I picked up the Carmen Electra Aerobic Striptease 5-disc DVD set. I've done the first two discs so I thought I'd give a quick review so I can stop telling all my girl friends to buy it.

Let me respond to some frequent questions/comments first and get them out of the way. No, Carmen is not naked, at least not yet. Although she does do a striptease in the credits. And yes, every woman should have this.

The first disc is an hour-long introductory lesson. There's about 20-25 minutes of warm up with Carmen and two of the Pussycat Dolls. Then the ladies change their outfits for each of two routines. The instruction and pacing is great. You learn a new step or two and then repeat from the beginning. This means that each routine is only about 2 minutes long but again, it's an intro lesson. The workout itself isn't too heavy, I wasn't exactly sweaty but I couldn't not shower either. I did find that my everyday motions were a little more, uh, graceful though. Other neat features on all the discs include an option to choose among music genres for the workouts (hip hop, techno and rock) and the option to do all the segments of the workout or choose segments. This comes in handy with the next disc.

The second disc is straight aerobics with Carmen and instructor Michael Carson. The separate segments can come in handy here if you want to just work your legs, abs, or upper body. I do the entire hour workout and have already noticed some changes after maybe 4 times. The goal of this disc is to get your body in shape for the more rigorous activities in the later discs. I really like this instruction as well. Every move is explained well so you know what muscle group to work, which sounds simple but is sometimes forgotten on exercise DVDs. Each exercise can also be adapted to higher strength levels by increasing reps or adding wrist and ankle weights (I just ordered some). The only issue with the segmentation is that if you do the whole workout they sometimes explain a move in the warm up and the target segment. Not a downside really, especially since I fill that time with more reps. One note, some of the exercises require a chair to work from so have one handy. I really recommend this as a workout so if you just want a dancer's body (and a stripper's ass) then you should buy this disc separately.

Although really the reason I purchased this was to have something fun to look forward to for exercise. I still try to run at least once a week and I do this twice a week or so. It is much more fun than just running and the second disc is definitely a good work out. The body message is very positive. Michael is also very positive when it comes to reps and different abilities. I'm noticing results already so if you can't do all the reps at first don't feel bad, it'll happen soon.

Seriously, it's fun. Give it a try. I'll be back with reviews on the other discs.

Cool Coincidence

2007-05-30T13:04:00.000-04:00

I heard on NPR this morning a theory that I came up with independently and recently shared with Sanjay. The closest thing to a link I can find is this banner on the top of the page, but maybe it'll show up in the archives tomorrow or later on. This reporter found that baby boomers raised a generation that is now in their 20s and expecting praise in the workplace for doing their jobs. They grew up getting participation trophies and ribbons, every one was special, etc. and now they want a cookie everytime they collate.

(I get praise for doing my job and I think it's a little odd. Great, and better than being invisibile, but if I didn't go above and beyond then I'm not actually expecting anything.)

Since I like talking about my theories I'll go into more detail on it, although it is almost exactly the same. I can't remember if I came up with this while watching people with a huge sense of entitlement or if it was because of the children. I've had several conversations about the lack of well-behaved children nowadays and how I'm more likely to be surprised by well-behaved children than unruly children. And although I am completely curmodgeonly it is not at all limited to me. Of course, there are well-behaved children just as there are people born after WWII who don't expect 76 trombones every time they do the laundry or come up with a bon mot.

I figured with the baby boomers society changed a lot. A middle class existed, more people than ever before (and since?) lived in two-parent homes, in houses, with a car and a chance to go to college even if they didn't have a trust fund. Vaccines and antibiotics came about and decreased childhood mortality. The cold war improved public schools. Weekends and leisure time were more entrenched than previous generations. So while this generation was raised by people who lived through the Depression they were also more priviledged than any other generation up until then. They grew up expecting that a lifetime of work would earn them a house and a pension, etc.

And that didn't always happen. Cue the sense of entitlement. Or it did. Cue entitlement in their children. Regardless, we became a society that looked at how children were raised, psychologically. Instead of worrying if little Joey had food, we started to worry if little Joey could express himself. And that's where discipline slid off. Add society today where almost all families need two working parents and you have even less discipline because the parents are just too tired to argue. The focus on the individual means participation trophies. It means people think they're always right because being wrong makes them feel bad. They're special, after all.

We all know people that need more than just acknowledgement, they need constant reassurance. Maybe they can't do anything without someone holding their hand the first time, maybe they need to be popular with everyone, maybe they think their opinions are the only right ones but it's these people that got me to thinking about this. These people who are now raising kids that aren't told not to throw food at people in the grocery store because their parents are too busy listening to their grocery requests/demands.

I think we can find a happy medium. A verbal good for you for playing baseball, but you weren't the winning team so no trophy, just enjoy the game. No more high school graduations with 8 valedictorians and 12 salutatorians. Hmm, I just thought of the ADD South Park episode. Maybe that's how all this got started in my head.

Coming clean

2007-05-28T16:33:00.000-04:00

I've been keeping this semi quiet because it's personal and self-pitying but I think it's time to be open for healing purposes. It's probably not a big surprise but I'm depressed and have been for about a year and a half. I'm working on it and I'm getting better and I have a lot of good times but it's there and completely related to the events of my life.

A few months ago I read an NYT magazine interview with Sarah Silverman in which she said that in her childhood she was depressed and described it as feeling homesick even though she was home. This is exactly how I've felt and described it in the past when my life was difficult. This time is different though. This time I am comfortable with me. I have flaws but I work at them and I feel like I'm me, if that makes sense. I like my friends and hobbies and I like me. But this time I sometimes want to be me in someone else's life.

The problem is that I'm watching almost all my friends either get PhDs or their dream job, get married, have kids, buy a house, have supportive families, or some combination, and I don't understand why I don't have that. Or why if I will have those things it's going to take so much longer. What's my bad karma? It's not that I'm at all holding this against my friends. My friends are the reason I'm not worse off today and I can't express how grateful I am for that. I don't want anyone to temper their happiness because of me. I just don't understand why my good news is really often more of a lack of negative news.

I'm getting better but it's hard when I'm manipulated or used as a source of self esteem. Invisible. Not seen as the person I am today. Seen as less interesting than people who are the type to think they're wild and crazy for staying up until 1am or have really important opinions on their hair. Seen as not carrying my weight when I'm doing more than my share of the work. Told my opinions are wrong, not different. Lots of people do these things so I know I'm not alone but it just hurts more now because of everything else. When I should calmly say, Excuse me I am in the room and speaking and am offended that you have forgotten that, I may just retreat and be quiet. Or snappily tell someone their opinion is wrong despite their imaginary superceding qualifications. Mature, I know. Some frequent offenders will never see their culpability and it'd only make it worse to say or show I'm offended but that's just my reaction sometimes. And really I don't know how to deal with frequent offenders.

I know this is not unique to me. And no one's perfect. But I just want to be seen for who I am and appreciated when I am deserving, just like anyone else. Thank you to everyone who does this already.

working girl

2007-05-10T10:02:00.000-04:00

I'd like to do science writing. For a newspaper or magazine, my own books, what ever I can get. Publishers, however, are looking for experience, those jerks. And 5 years of writing, editing and reviewing manuscripts and grants doesn't seem to be enough. Granted, it is a bit different, but I know I can write. I know I can make science accessible to the non scientist and still interesting to someone who knows a bit about the subject to begin with. So I started a science writing blog. It'll be the practice and (hopefully) exposure I'll need to one day get to the all-too-impressive appearing on The Colbert Report to talk about my new book explaining such concepts as why I love, Love, LOVE Purell on the airplane after I see someone cough into Sky Mall but cringe, cringe, cringe when I think about superbacteria it's selecting for stage of my career.

Without further ado, here is my alter-ego the Master of Science. (Link is also to the right.)

The non decision

2007-05-08T16:42:00.000-04:00

Google ads will creep me out now and then when I inevitable forget that they're there until it pops up with something right on the money. The quotes and links at the top of my gmail, however, have never been so accurate before. Today I had this link/quote from the Duke basketball coach: "The truth is that many people set rules to keep from making decisions." Has this ever been accurate for me the last year and a half (I mean, it's always happened to me but lately, wow). People who have no idea who they are or what they're doing, no clue that they're the pot to someone's kettle. Or are so good at denial that they might as well not know. Whatever they're doing is perfect, everyone else is wrong if there's a problem. I'm the most interesting. Me, me, me, me, me. This is vexing and frightening if, for example, someone cuts you off and then waves as if to say, don't worry, you're fine. You have your moment of wishing someone would cut them off and do the same condescending gesture, complain about it and move on. But if the person's actions screw with your life or they're someone you care about then it's way more tough.

This is not to say that people can't make mistakes, of course not. That's what people do. But I think I act like myself and act responsibly and live my life instead of following a blueprint. (Why are the people so dependent on following a blueprint or having someone else make their decision or make a non decision and call it fate always the most arrogant?) I just wish more people could do the same.